New depths of whoring

Poverty makes people do amazing things. Most sex workers, for example, get into the business due to a desperate need to eat and have shelter. That is certainly understandable (from my perspective, at least).

Your beloved hostess, however, is going in a slightly different direction. I've had the Alibris link in the sidebar for some time now - not that it's earned me one single penny - and I have now added an AllPosters.com search box as well. In addition, I've succumbed to Google and added their advertisements to the blog (although not in the way they recommended; infinitessimal acts of defiance against the universe is a specialty of mine). All of this is in an effort to make some fucking money. I'm so goddamn sick of hand-to-mouth living that it's come to this.

No, there's no chance that I'll get into the sex trade. I'm too damn old and I doubt that there are any johns out there desperate enough to want me. Plus I just don't think I could even fake interest well enough. So while I wait for the next semester to begin at the local community college (so I can hone the old skills and get a frigging job), I'll whore myself to the Google AdSense ghods and hope for the best.

Feel free to click through once in a while. Please don't abuse it though, the Googlies get mad when you do that.

Savage gets it right again

From this week's Savage Love column:

A new euphemism: When someone cheats on a spouse, that should be known as "hiking the Appalachian Trail" in honor of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford.

But I have to say that Adultery Confessional Theater is getting tired. Can our culture start to deflate the drama on extramarital affairs a little? Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig, Jon and Kate, John Ensign, Mark Sanford: Yes, it sucks if kids are involved and it often leads to divorce. But I wonder if setting the panic bar a bit lower wouldn't save more marriages. Maybe we should embrace the fact that few of us will remain monogamous over the long life of a marriage.

Anne In NJ

I'm with you, AINJ: At the bottom of all these sex scandals—Sanford, Ensign, Spitzer, et al.—is our unnatural fixation on monogamy. Human beings, male or female, aren't wired to be sexually monogamous, and the feigned shock with which we're required to greet each new revelation of infidelity on the part of an elected official, a reality-show star, or a sports figure would be comical if the costs weren't so great. Elevating monogamy over all else—insisting that it, and it alone, is the sole measure of love and devotion—destroys countless marriages, families, and careers.

Which is not to say that people shouldn't honor their commitments or that there aren't folks out there capable of remaining monogamous over the five-decade course of a marriage or that the hypocrisy of assholes like Sanford—who called on President Clinton to resign during Monicagate—isn't worthy of censure. But think of all the people who've cheated and gotten caught. Now think about all the people who've cheated and gotten away with it. Our idealized notions about sex—within marriage and without—are at war with who and what we are. Sex is powerful; relationships are fragile. Why on earth do we insist on pitting them against each other?

[CAVEAT: Unless, of course, you're Chilly & Sweetie, who've 'been there, done that' and have passed through the test of fire. Discovery of life-long love at an advanced age can lead to a much more interesting and satisfying long-term relationship.]

Happy Independence Day!

YAY! FIREWORKS!!!

NOT the Madonna!

This is supposed to be Madonna advertising some Louis Vuitton products. Only the photo is so freaking photoshopped that they might as well just have drawn a picture of her and saved a ton of money! Honestly! Where are the sunken eyes in the death-mask face? The stick arms complete with bulging veins and pointed elbows? Puh-leese.

June is busting out all over

Things are looking pretty good these days. Well, at least since I pulled myself out of this latest job-&-money-merry-go-round of depression. Sweetie has been my rock, my lifesaver. His encouragement keeps me going every day.

Anyway, got plans to go back to school to renew my phlebotomy certification (you know, the vampire lady who sticks you for blood) - and I might have a new job. It could very well pan out into something good...! Keeping my fingers crossed. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Positive thinking usually works. I'm gonna keep trying.

Oh, and all my flowers are blooming happily, making the house so cheerful and pretty! Sweetie bought some herbs for the garden, and his cantaloupe plant is finally looking like it will produce fruit. (Not bad for a plant that took several beatings from hailstorms this season.) I anticipate some yummy dishes in our future!

More Celebrity Bric-a-Brac Theater

Funnies from the guys who bring us Chad Vader:



Five stars!

As the world mourns

I'm figuring that I am one of the few people on planet Earth who really couldn't care less about Michael Jackson's death. (And by that I mean there is no possible way I could give less of a shit about it. Really.) He was a contemporary of mine, he and I grew up in the same times but vastly different worlds. For a time I actually felt sorry for the guy, what with his dysfunctional upbringing and the problems of dealing with great fame at such a young age. But then he got WEIRD, molested some boy children, turned white, then tried to convince us that those white children he bought were his bio kids - and I just sort of segued into disgust, then complete indifference. The thing is, I always kind of intuited that MJ was going to die early. His light burned too brightly to last very long.

Turned on CNN last evening to get some scoop on all the hoopla and I swear they are treating Michael's death just like Princess Diana's! Speculation, video footage of the coroner's office taking his body, retrospective montages, statements from friends, colleagues, family and fans. In my mind it officially became farce when I read the title of this post in yet-another-article about this event.

The only thing I want to know is what's going to happen to his children? I'm sure that question will be answered eventually. Just curious if the mother(s) are going to step up or what.



In case anyone noticed, Farrah Fawcett died yesterday too. Not that I'm going to shed tear one over her either, just sayin'.

Snoop and the Amazing Doc Rendezvous

Try as one might to believe that fiction can ever be stranger than the truth, wellllll...

... you just can't make this stuff up.

(Photo from timesonline.com)

I called & wished mine a good day. He sounded pretty good. Sweetie's dad too.

Per usual, dad had to tell me his latest bad joke. (My father has forgotten more bad jokes than most people ever knew.)





So here, in honor of the day:


"Why does the chicken coop have only two doors?"


"Because if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan."

[ba-dum-bum]

"It is an exciting time to be a nerd."

John Hodgman at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner last night - as funny as the Prez, but way nerdier.

Happy sauntering

Good grief, how did the time go by so quickly? It's already World Sauntering Day again! I must get out and practice my sauntering in preparation for our big trip to Ireland (in Nov.). I plan to saunter as much as possible while there.

SAUNTER: 'sontur

1. [n] a leisurely walk (usually in some public place)
2. [n] a careless leisurely gait; "he walked with a kind of saunter as if he hadn't a care in the world"
3. [v] walk leisurely and with no apparent aim

Cheers!